Cid and Shera's Wedding!
by Haruko Kurimasu
Summary: Cid and Shera are finally getting married! But, there are other romances in the air too! Will Vincent have the guts to ask Lucrecia to a dance? And who will Cloud pick- Aerith, or Tifa?
1. The Ceremony

Hi! I know it's been over a month since I've added onto my other fanfics (Grimly Tales and AC Abridged), but don't worry, I'm still gonna work with them! I just thought of this story a while ago, and wanted to share it with you guys! So here you go! It's Cid and Shera's Wedding!

**PART I: THE CEREMONY**

Cid breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down before the big day. He drained his eighth cup of earl gray tea, and tossed the cup over his shoulder in frustration. The cup smashed against the side of Cloud's head, but is seemed that his Zapdos spike-of-a-haircut did more damage to the cup than the cup did to his head. "Ouch." Cloud muttered.

That's right! Cid and Shera were finally getting married! After months of Cid shouting insults and symbols at Shera's head, the tea-drinking pilot finally let his assistant in on his feelingson the Gold Saucer gondola- he wanted to marry her. And of course Shera agreed.

This was the greatest moment of Cid's life. He pushed his hair back out of his eyes, trying to not look so nervous. Just then, his best man, Vincent Valentine, came walking over. Vincent was in his old Turk suit, just just for the occasion. "Is something wrong, Cid?" he asked in his uber-emo, Steve Blum voice.

Cid looked up, and wiped away the sweat from his face. "What the (BEEP!) do you mean, Vince?! Everything's just dandy! I mean, (BEEP!)! I'm so nervous, Vincent! I mena, gosh, it's Shera and all-!"

"Don't have an ulcer," interrupted Vincent quickly. "You don't want to spaz out on the alter, do you?"

"(BEEP!) no, Vince! I mean- I need another earl gray!" Cid reached for the pot of tea that was on the concession table, but Vincent slapped his hand away. Turks style.

"What the (BEEP!), Vince?!" shouted Cid.

"You shouldn't get drunk just before your wedding!" growled his best man.

The groom gave him a strange look. "How do you get drunk on tea?"

"Believe me, you'd find a way." Vincent replied gravely. Turks style.

--

Meanwhile, the bride and her matron of honor were getting fluffed up before the ceremony. The bride, of course, was Shera, while her matron of honor was none other than Dr. Lucrecia Cresent. The bridesmaids, Tifa, Aerith and Yuffie, were next door with the flower girl, Marlene.

Shera sighed happily. "It's finally here. The big day."

Lucrecia nodded as she fixed the bow in Shera's hair. "I was nervous too on my own big day." she replied soothingly.

Shera raised her eyebrows. "You mean, you actually married that pychotic lunatic?"

"If you mean Hojo, of course not!" answered Lucrecia.

"Then what was 'the big day'?"

Lucrecia giggled. "Well, I guess it all started with Dr. Valentine. Oooh, they all laughed, but when we finally showsed them our thesis on-"

"OK, no talking about work today, alright?" grumbled Shera. She began to powder her face a deathly white.

Lucrecia sighed. "Oh, I'm so worried!"

Shera stopped her powdering in mid-puff. "About what?"

"Oh, err, the young girls here, naturally!" replied Lucrecia nervously, even though it was a complete lie. She was more worried about Vincent. Can she even have the guts to ask him to one itty-bitty dance? Can a matron of honor (she though she claimed that she hadn't married Hojo OO) and a best man have a special dance too?

"Yeah, you never know when an all-out catfight brawl will happen between Tifa and Aerith." said the bride, breaking into Lucrecia's daydreams.

--

In the room next door, tension was piling up faster than Cid's used earl greay teacups between Tifa and Aerith. They smiled their flakiest smiles and talked in a polite manner, but what were they really up to? Yuffie wasn't paying any attention to them or Marlene- she was reading Naruto manga instead.

"Oh, have you seen Cloud yet?" Tifa asked through her fake politeness.

Aha! Guy trouble. Typical.

"Tee hee hee! Of course I have!" giggled Aerith.

"When?" Tifa muttered through clenched teeth.

"Not telling!" came the UNsuper- nice response.

"Grrr!"

"Tee hee hee!"

Of course, both bridesmaids had one goal in common- to beat that boy-stealing hussy to Cloud! Tension, tension!

Just then, Jessie popped her head from around the door. "The ceremony's about to start!" she informed them, pretending to be oblivious to the electrical sparks firing from two of the rivalling bridesmaids's eyes. Jessie giggled.

_Heh, if they keep this up, they'll be so distracted that I'LL be the one to dance with Cloud!_ the AVALANCHE member secretly told herself.

--

The original Final Fantasy song (the one that plays during the main menu of FFXII!- I think.) began to play softly in the background. It took the place of traditional weddign music. The slow tempo really set the mood, which was why Cid was so anxious. While the priest turned his head for half a nanosecond, Cid grabbed a flask from the inside of his tuxedo's pocket, and took a swig from it. Vincent glared at him, then concentrated on the aisle. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Lucrecia -the wonderful and poetic, marvelous Lucrecia- come up the aisle, followed by the three bridesmaids and Marlene, the cute little flower girl. For a mysterious second, Vincent though that HE was the one getting married, and nearly passed out.

The matron of honor and bridesmaids took their place on either side of the wedding aisle. Tifa, Marlene and Yuffie were on one side, while Aerith and Lucrecia were on the other. Aerith smiled sweetly, which annoyed Tifa all the way to Gongaga.

_Who does she think she is?!_ Tifa screamed in her mind. _Just because SOLDIER guys don't come crashing through my roof everyday, doesn't mean she can claim them all! Selfish b-_

Vincent, however, nearly wet his swanky Turk pants when he saw how radiant and gorgeous Lucrecia was in her violet gown- at close range. His hands became clammy, so he tried to wipe them into his pants as sneakily as he could. He stopped in mid-wipe when Shera began her walk towards the wedding alter.

Cid nearly had an ulcer at the sight of Shera. She wore a stunning white gown, with a twenty-foot-long train decorated in chocobo feathers. Her viel (SP??) covered her face, which hopefully covered her eyesight as well, becuase then she wouldn't notice her future husband wringing his hands or see the dark spot forming in his tux's pants. OO

"Say good-bye to bachelorhood." taunted the priest, who was snickering at the groom for wetting himself.

"(BEEP!)! I love her, so shut up!" Cid snarled under his breath. The priest just shrugged. "Whatever you say." he replied.

--

Shera blushed as she took her place next to Cid. He was still cussing, even in a church. Oh well.

The priest coughed into his fist. "Okay then! Let's get this show on the road already!"

"About time," muttered Rufus Shinra, who'd crashed the wedding last minute with his trusty Turks posse. "I'm getting hungry! Where's my champagne!?"

"Sir," whispered Tseng to his boss. "The wedding hasn't even started yet! Then after the ceremony, there's going to be photographs taken; then speeches-"

"Screw the small stuff!" growled Rufus. "I better get a menu after this!"

Tseng sighed.

Two pews ahead of the Shin-Ra monopoly heir, sat a twitching Cloud. He wouldn't be here if his best friend Zack hadn't forced him to come. How can you have fun at such an uptight occasion? Especially with Tifa and Aerith both giving him the Evil Eye.

"Whatever you do, don't dance with Tifa!" Aerith had ordered him.

"Whatever you do, don't dance with Aerith!" Tifa had ordered him.

Cloud was in quite a gyshal pickle. if he danced with Aerith, then Tifa would give him a full round-a-house kick to the face. And if he danced with Tifa, then Aerith would strike him down with the merciless power of the Lifestream. And if her tried to ditch them both, then both would believe him to be dancing with the other, and he would recieve a double dose of their wrath! This wedding was turning out to be hellish.

Zack laughed and ruffled Cloud's spikey hair, which didn't help his dilemma. Hoo boy.

Meanwhile, on the alter, the priest purposely droned on and on about marriage and family and all that other boring junk. Cid was beginning to fidget, but tried not to display his impaitence to Shera. man, he just wanted to be married and get it over with. Drink a few beers with his best man, and go to the Gold Saucer with his newlywed wife for their honeymoon.

Fianlly, the priest finally reached the good part:

"Do you, Shera, take Cid Highwind to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part."

"I do." squeaked Shera.

Cid managed a smile.

The priest winked at the pilot, and asked him the same thing: "Do you, Cid Highwind, take Shera to be you lawful wedded wife-"

"What do you mean, 'awful wedded wife'?!" Cid snapped suddenly. Silence fell around the pews. "Shera's the most (BEEP!)ing beautiful woman out there, and you called her 'awful'?! Do you have a bone to pick you- (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!)?!"

The crowd gasped. Shera blushed.

The priest cleared hsi throat impaitently. "Cid, I said 'lawful', with an L!"

"(BEEP!)!"

The priest rolled his eyes. "Whatever! Do you want to marry this woman or not?!"

"(BEEP!) yeah, I do!" Cid shouted.

The priest snapped his book shut. You got it, Highwind! I now pronounce you man and wife! Kiss the bride already!"

The crowd whooped and cheered as the newly Mr. Cid Hindwind and Mrs. Shera Highwind kissed. Rude was silently crying with a box of tissues in his hand.

"Now, where's my menu?!" Rufus demanded.

--

To Be Continued in Part II, The Dinner!


	2. The Dinner

**PART II: THE DINNER**

Once outside in the lobby, fancy photographers began to take pictures of the newlywed couple. Many of the guests were outside, taking a breath of fresh air. Only Cloud, Zack, Lucrecia, Vincent and the bridesmaids were still inside the church.

Zack ruffled Cloud's incredibly spiked head once more. "See, the sitting part is over!" he joked cheerily. Cloud was silent. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the evil glares of Tifa and Aerith, looking straight at him. He gulped.

Meanwhile, Vincent was trying desperately to strike up a conversation with Lucrecia.

"Um, Lucrecia-"

Lucrecia smiled at him. Her pearly whites nearly blinded him. "Yes Vincent?"

_Come on, Vincent!_ The former Turk shouted in his head. _If you can sling lead at thousands of enemies, then surely you can think of something catchy to say to Lucrecia! _

"I really...like, your, er..." Vincent choked.

"Hmm?"

"Your hair pin!" he spat out. "It, er... really goes with the way the light... and er... how it highlights... the, er... texture!"

Lucrecia giggled. "Oh, thank you, Vincent! Yes, Dr. Valentine bought me this hair pin..." Her face suddenly darkened. Then, a second later, she burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, and ran down the aisle and out the door.

"Wait..." Vincent murmured, and sighed. Why did he always make her cry?

Meanwhile, Aerith and Tifa began to march down the aisle themselves, hoping to beat the other to Cloud.

Cloud spotted them, and hid under the pews. Zack stared down at him, one eyebrow raised. Cloud pressed a finger to his lips.

"Cover for me!" he squeaked.

Zack nodded, and coughed loudly when the two girls came panting over to him. Vincent still stood dumbstruck at the alter, and Yuffie and Marlene had already left.

"Hello ladies!" Zack yawned casually, resting his arms on the backboards of the pews. "Lovely wedding, eh?"

"Yeah, lovely," muttered Tifa, who was clearly distracted. "Listen, have you seen Cloud? **I** need to talk to him."

"Tee hee hee," giggled Aerith forcefully. "Well, I have to talk to him too. Beacause, we're like, dating." she added, smiling flakily at Tifa. The bar hostess cracked her knuckles angrily.

Zack sighed nostalgic-like. "Like old times, eh Aerith?"

His former Cetra-girlfriend nodded. "Uh-huh."

Zack looked around. "Nope, haven't seen him."

Tifa eyed him suspiciously. "Wasn't he sitting next to you during the service?"

Zack dodged the question by saying, "Shouldn't you girls be getting your pictures done with the bride soon?" The two rivals nodded.

"Well, carry on," he said in a very cool Zack-ish way. "I'll tell Cloudy that you two lovely women are looking for him. Off you go now!"

Tifa and Aerith both left, trotting in a hurried fashion. When the coast was clear, Cloud reappeared from under the pwes.

"Thanks, man." he breathed, high-fiving Zack.

Zack grinned. "No problem. But, you know, you'll have to face them sooner or later."

Cloud grimaced. "Yeah, if they don't tear me apart first!"

**-- -- -- -- --**

Finally, it was the famous wedding supper. All of the guests were seated at tables that were placed in a long, rectangular shape. At the head was, of course, the bride and groom. The best man was next to the groom, with the matron of honor on the bride's side.

Vincent stared at Lucrecia from the other side of the table, mouthing, "I'm sorry." Lucrecia didn't notice this gesture, and was instead dabbing her eyes with a silk napkin. Her mascara was running down her cheeks from crying so much. And we thought weddings were supposed to be joyous occasions!

Meanwhile, the two haunting bridesmaids bore holes into Cloud's hair, as they too sat opposite of him. Cloud kept his head down in embaressment. Zack gave him an awkward pat on the head.

"There, there," he murmured gently, as if he were speaking to a five-year-old. A terrified one, one being stalked by pyscho-demon girlfriends. Sigh.

Further down, Rufus and the Turks were ordering their food. The young Shin-Ra president was having a hard time deciding on whether to choose between the roasted chocobo breast or the cactaur needle soup. So gourmet.

Even Reeve and Nanaki were here. Reeve would've brought Cait Sith along, but Cid had threatened to blow the robotic cat into smithereens if he had. Cid could not STAND Cait Sith's accent. ("But my name is Gaelic for 'Fairy Cat'!" Cait Sith had protested. "I can't help the accent!") Ahem.

The groom clinked his glass with a fork, and nearly shattered it with his awesome force. "Excuse me yall, but I'd like to make a speech."

Everyone looked up, interested, even Cloud, who was now trying to drown himself in fizzy champagne. (The only way he was gonna deal with those two nightmares was to become drunk. EXTREMELY drunk.)

Cid grinned as he squeezed Shera's hand. (Ah, he's in love.) "Ya'll know my sweetheart, Shera, by now, aight? Well, I know sometimes I can be really (BEEP!) and a (BEEP!) or even a (BEEP!) time from time. But even with all of those (BEEP!) and (BEEP!), Shera can still put up with my (BEEP!) and love me at the same (BEEPING!) time! I'd like to thank her for that. Ah, (BEEP!)! I'm gettin' all (BEEPING!) emotional!"

Cid raised his glass in a toast. All of his guests followed suit. From Biggs and Wedge all the way down to Johnny were here to celebrate this special day. Cid sat down and kissed his wife. Darn it, now even I'M getting emotional!

(Sheesh, Shera really changed the man, eh?)

When everything had settled down, Vincent glanced at Cid, who nodded back. Time for the best man's speech.

Vincent stood up, a stack of notes on cards in his sweating hands. He looked around the table, and laid his eyes on Lucrecia for a long time. He coughed, and began:

"Life is nothing but an uncontrollable spiral of dismay, dispair, and disappointment," he began solomnly. Cloud stopped in mid sip on his twenty-seventh champagne.

"It continues this way until we meet our lonesome and inescapable fate, and finally return to the Planet against our sacriligious wills, having accomplished no imprint of meek remembrance among the dreaded living."

By now everyone was staring at the best man. _What the heck??_ they were all thinking. Can you say, ubder vampire emo?

"But of course," Vincent changed hastily, throwing his notes over his shoulder clumsily. "there are good things too. There's the, uh, flowers, the people, the gunslinging blood-splattering 5 to 9 jobs, and of course, love." He stared at Lucrecia at that last part. Lucrecia looked back, wondering if he meant her.

"And today shows a tremendous example of marking our imprint upon people's lives when Cid and Shera decided to bond for eternity." the emo best man quicked added. "So, uh, congrats Cid. You show us doomed, luckless man what it means to show commitment." Once again, Vincent looked lovingly at the love of his life. He sat down, pale in the face. (I don't think vampires CAN blush.)

Cid slowly clapped. "Ah (BEEP!), Vince! Good speech." Tiny applause broke out in random sections of the table. Yeeeeaaaah.

Cliud nodded sheepishly. "Waaaaaaaaaaiter! I neeeeeeeed more champaaaaaaaaaaaaagne!" he wheezed drunkenly. He'd already drunken Zack's champagne flute as well.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEER!!"

Zack gently placed Cloud's arm down on the table. "That's enough for tonight, Cloudy." he told him. Cloud began to sob as the waiters and waitresses circled the table with platters of food.

Zack sighed. "What's wrong, Cloudy?"

"Mama..." whispered the blonde emo.

_Here we go again,_ thought Zack. _Here comes the Queen song. AGAIN. _

"Just killed a man..." moaned Cloud.

Zack drummed his fingers on the table, waiting for his best friend to stop feeling sorry for himself.

"I don't wanna die..."

Cloud lifted his eyes to briefly stare at Aerith and Tifa.

"But sometimes I wish I've never been born at all!!"

**-- -- -- -- --**

Fifteen minutes later, after the appetizers have been properly served, the main course began, consisting of roasted chocobo breats with a side of gyshal greens, cactaur needle soup, and tonberry knives, which was a fancy way of saying stuffed cabbage rolls.

"Jyahahaha!" cackled Scarlet, filling her plate with cactaur knives. Rufus gulped when she grinned his way. Hopefully by the time the dances began Scarlet would be too wasted to lift her legs. Christmas office parties at Shin-Ra were a disaster with Scarlet around.

Down the table where the bridesmaids sat, Yuffie too had her own champagne problems. After reading twenty-one volumes of Naruto in less than two hours before the wedding, the young ninja thought she herself was in the Narutoverse, and seriously thought that Cloud was Naruto (blonde hair??) and Zack was Sasuke (weird spikey chicken butt-hair? Except that Zack's a porcupine.) She giggled hysterically when she saw Tifa's-- er-- and thought of Tsunade.

"Hahahahaha-- (hic!) Hahaha (hic!)(hic!)" Yuffie laughed. Tifa groaned. She was forced to sit next to Yuffie, with Aerith on the other side of the twitching Naruto wannabee. Tifa then stared intently at Nar-- Cloud on the other side of the silk-clothed table. Cloud was avoiding her gaze, for some reason. Was he thinking of Aerith?! Tifa was gonna punch his intestines out to dicover the truth! (But, she'll end up killing him that way!)

Meanwhile, Vincent was trying to work up the nerve to speak to the lovely Lucrecia. The young scientist seemed to have recovered from her little episode in the church, and she looked like she was enjoying her meal.

_Glug, glug, glug!_ Vincent drained his champagne flute in three short gulps, and was trying to signal the waiter over for more. (Hmm, there must be something in this champagne...)

The waiter, however, was busily refilling Cloud's glass, which emptied every eleven seconds.

"Cloud, don't you think that's enough?" Zack whispered to his blonde friend.

At that cue, Cloud's head banged aginst the top of the table, and lay there perfectly still. He had FINALLY passed out. (Doesn't anyone notice??)

Zack shooed the champagne waiter away before standing up. He pulled out the blonde emo's chair, in which the emo occupying it, fell out of and dropped to the ground. Zack gave off an embaressed smile before grabbing Cloud upwards, and dragging him out of the dining hall. (Again, nobody notices.)

"Thank Shiva I slipped some sleeping pills in," muttered Zack, while in the corridor.

**-- -- -- -- --**

"(Beep!) Vince!" Cid whispered to his best man between bites of chocobo. "Ask her (Beeping!) out!"

"It's..." Vincent began, looking nervously around the table, then sighing in defeat. "It's not that simple."

Cid grinned. "(Beep!) yeah, it is! You gotta be up in her (Beeping!) face first, then lay your cards on the (Beeping!) table. Simple!"

"C-Cards?"

Cid nodded. "(Beep!), Vince! You know, your good attributes. The points that make you shine! Like, for example, all women loves a guy who's got a great career! And how you appear to the rest of the world!"

Vince looked down in shame. "I make small children cry. And I've been out of work for the past three decades."

"(Beep!) No, no! Not like that!"

"Then what?"

Cid thought for a long moment. "Come on, for a guy pushing sixty, you look very youthful. (Beep!), you didn't even need plastic surgery for it! Plus, you helped save the Planet!"

Shera leaned over to her husband. "What are you two talking about?" she asked.

"Helpin' Vince here snag Lucrecia," replied Cid. "I can't belive he's _this_ shy! And to a woman!"

Shera sighed. "Not every man is like you, dear."

"(Beep!) yeah! That makes me one of a kind that way!"

**-- -- -- -- --**

"Pass the (hic!) ketchup, Granny!"

Tifa turned her head to glare at Yuffie. "What. Did. You. Call. Me?"

But Yuffie just giggled in response.

And so did Aerith.

"So tense," giggled the Cetra to her number one rival. "Is it because you're so seriously losing?"

"Of course not," growled Tifa. "I'd never lose to you! Cloud will make the right choice one day!"

Aerith smiled. "Tee hee hee. And that'll be me."

_Grrr!_ Tifa screame din her head. _One of these days, she's gonna lose all of her teeth in a fistfight!_

**-- -- -- -- --**

To be Continued in Part III, The Dance.


End file.
